Which came first, the screw or the lily?

It's fitting that the snow is falling outside today, as it reminds me of the lesson I learned from the lily and the screw.

It was winter 1999, and Dave Churchman had convinced me (with not much hesitation on my part as you'll see in a moment) to take on the Executive Director's position at the local AmCham office in Baku, Azerbaijan.

That I was excited to do it was beside the point at that time- I needed to make some money to pay back-taxes that my bookkeeper was supposedly paying. I had gotten a call in September from a friend, a local lawyer who helped set up my business, saying that the bank had closed my account because the taxes had not been paid. "Nyet, Nyet! That's absurd," I told him in my best Russian. "I have the paperwork to prove it." I took him the papers and he confirmed that his signature had been forged and that the taxes had indeed not been filed.

That was how I came to be working at the newspaper with John Boit. Until it folded, in its second month, leaving us both wondering what we were going to do... which is how we got to the Wharf on that particular day, having decided that a drink would help us think better... doesn't iced tea always help?

At any rate, I had taxes to re-pay, salaries due and a cat to feed. My second job at the University provided me with a small apartment but any money I earned from my business services office went to pay salaries for teachers and, presumably, taxes. I got a third job editing at the newspaper so that I could re-pay the taxes. (Welcome to embezzlement 101- I later discovered that my accounts receivable had been siphoned off to buy a visa to America, secretly being "arranged" at a hefty fee on the street, outside the Embassy knowledge or control.)

So, on that day when Dave asked me to step into his "office" as it was, I took a look at the figure he wrote on the bar napkin and thought I had been delivered. I could be an honest woman again. And it seemed it might be that way until... the Swindle.

The first thing I had to do in my new capacity as the Executive Director was to oversee the build out of the new AmCham office. The Board had agreed to a fine plan to take this group to the next level- you know, the one that called for this "high powered Oil Guy". Well he would apparently need a nice office from which to court new influential members. And, it just so happened, there was an architect-designer in town who just fit the bill.

Now, stop and think about this for a moment... here we are in Azerbaijan, not exactly a household name yet with those in America. And yet we have an architect-designer from the states who happens to have the perfect solution to the need of the hour? I have to say I was more that a bit skeptical. But of course, you remember Dave's famous line, "You won't have to do a thang, darlin'."

The Board had approved Brian's plan and he had been advanced $13,000 to buy supplies in Europe... Keep in mind that this $13,000 "advance" was 10x the annual salary of a professor, or 86x more than my secretary made per month! Yeah, that's what I said too!

The office was supposed to be done in September, then November, then by year end. It wouldn't have been much of a problem except that we had planned a gala grand opening kick off party for the new office, and had invited the President of Azerbaijan, along with the Prime Minister, several key figures, the US Ambassador and dozens of guests and media types. This thing had to be done by New Year's at the latest.

Now a swindle wouldn't be good without some drama, so that even though you know the train is coming- you can see the lights approaching- you have too many other details to distract you to really focus on how big it's going to be. And this turned out to be a doozy- a Louisiana businessman overseeing a sweetheart deal with a shady architect. What could be better?

On the night before the grand opening, after many assurances that we were almost there, I finally got to see the office when one of the workers left the door unlocked by mistake. 24 hours to go and what I saw was breathtaking- and not in a good way! Sheets of plastic, bare studs on the 'focus wall' (which needed to be padded and covered in a cocoa colored suede fabric as a background for custom made chrome lettering), the fabric for the chairs was stacked in the corner (not on the chairs) and wires hung from everywhere... What the ??? (OMG hadn't been coined yet, but that would have been next!) I gasped, then got angry, then called Dave.

He had a few choice words of his own and then finally tried to reach Brian on his cell phone. It seems Brian was making a heroic sacrifice by flying to Europe himself, to personally pick up the fabric for the wall. But he assured us that we would have the opening as scheduled.

Where had all the money gone? What had they been paying him for all this time? Life Lesson: When someone tells you "You won't have to do a thang" start making a back-up plan just in case!

We got all the workers back over to the office and everyone worked all night, some tucking fabric over the chairs, some assembling the furniture, others fixing the lights- of which there were many. In an office that was the size of a good bedroom, perhaps 12'x20', there were 16 lights of various sizes and kinds wired up throughout. We had downspots over the conference table, uplights for the eventual lettering, focus lights for a piece of art (which someone later came to repossess off the wall) and these upturned crescent shaped "dentist" light things at each desk. Plus, the building had fluorescent lighting overhead as well. There was something Freudian about all those lights- a guy with so much to hide, wiring in that many lights?

The rest of the swindle details emerged fully over the next few months, and kept the Wharf buzzing for weeks, but this brings us to the screw and the lily.

Given all the drama of the last 24 hours, I could hardly look at this guy and yet, like a true diva to the end, he still could not admit that he had done anything but look out for the "image of the chamber by making a real statement with this office"- ughh... The Prime Minister was on his way, I went in to take one look at what we had to present for the ribbon cutting, not knowing what to expect- and there was Brian, standing on the table, wedging a 3 inch screw into a can light (literally taped to the ceiling) to hold it at the right angle so the light would shine on the art piece we "bought" but were about to lose... how poetic. We had stapled fabric on the chairs, missing window coverings, lettering held up with straight pins and all he could see was the angle of the light.

I had bought a bouquet of carnations from a street vendor on the way in, thinking they would look nice in the vase on the table. But Brian had removed these to the wet bar (yes, a wet bar!) and had carefully placed 5 calla lilies in the vase and laid a sixth one- just so- across the table in front of the vase, and had focused (screwed?) a solitary spotlight on the lone lily.

Which came first, the lily or the screw I really don't know. But I smiled when we entered the office for the first time after the ribbon was cut. My secretary whispered to me that she had seen the lily "the one that fell out of the vase", and had been sure to put it back. I had to laugh... poetic justice indeed.

After all the drama of the months leading up to the opening, after the security surrounding the Prime Minister and others, the Board finally had a chance to relax and enjoy the uniquely un-finished product. I grabbed my digital camera and rounded up the Board members for what is now a most historic photo, the first one posted here... and as far as I know, the screw is still in that light fixture. Isn't that fitting, after all?

Life begins at 40... or so they say!

The Setting: City of Baku, Capital of Azerbaijan, "CIS", former Soviet Union.
The Year: 1999
The Background: Though technically still at war with its neighbor, an uneasy cease fire is holding 5 years after the "Contract of the Century" was signed.

In the years since independence was proclaimed in 1991, would-be leaders like Mutalibov, Elchibey, Col. Surat Huseynov, and Rasul Quliyev have quickly arrived and been ousted. By 1994, when I arrived, the tanks are gone though the bullet holes remain, and Heydar Aliyev, returned from Nakhchivan to serve as President, is managing to hold things together and business is growing. Enough business, in fact, that a business group has decided to establish an overseas office connected to the American Chamber of Commerce, AmCham Azerbaijan.

The fledgling organization of businessmen (it turns out, I was the only American woman business head at that time, though there were females at the Embassy and within the oil majors) had as its first Executive Director, a man named Don Stewart who arrived there with his wife Janet, a key component of the BP office in Baku. Don made good strides in establishing the office and had completed his tenure. Don turned the reigns over to another young man, and that lasted about a year- some say he left in the middle of the night, owing local businesses a sizable bar tab.

By this time the Board was getting impatient to make something happen, to become a key player in the advocacy of business issues.

As it happened, I stopped by our favorite ex-pat hangout, the "Wharf" restaurant one day with a journalist friend of mine, John Boit, to have a stiff drink, which in my case meant I would be having maybe 2 iced teas instead of one... :) It hadn't been a very good day... We had both just found out the newspaper venture we were working on, had folded (come to think of it, also in the middle of the night- seems like that happened a lot in those days!)

As we were sitting there wondering what to do next, our friend, the owner Dave Churchman, local business entrepreneur and ex-pat leader from down 'Nawlins' way, said, "Joe-Nelle, step into my office. I wanna talk to you." His office, was an oak barrel sitting over by the water's edge. He told me about the AmCham office dilemma and said they were "looking for a high powered Oil Guy to take this to the next level," but would I come over and help them for three months on an interim basis. Never believe a Louisiana businessman if he says, "You won't have to do a thang..."

Thus began the next chapter in my life, the Beginning of Life, as I came to know it. Tomorrow I'll tell you about the embezzlement, the big Swindle, as well as the screw and the lily that led to the group picture you see here.

Why Life Lessons?

I thought about blogging for quite a while before I decided that what I was thinking would be fun to share- this accumulation of knowledge and experiences serves no purpose if not for others to share.

It seems that everyday someone is starting a new blog about almost every subject imaginable. So what makes this blog any different- or better?

I suppose what makes this unique is the places I have been, doing business, at times that most people find curious. "Why in the world would you want to do that?" is a common question I get when people I meet at a party hear what I was doing for a decade in the wild west of the former Soviet Union. I have laughed hardest at the stories when I hear myself telling the things that happened- what was I thinking? But I lived to tell the story and that's what matters- and that I share the stories with you, and you share your stories with me and others.

Here is the framework: a little of then, a little of now. Life before, and life after- as the memories unfold and connect to what they have made me today.

I hope you enjoy the process and get involved by sharing a cultural experience that a day's post reminds you of, or ask questions about what it would be like to do something you're hoping for.

So, what's the significance of today's photo? This one marks the beginning of my life in many ways. It's the dedication of the new AmCham Azerbaijan office, January 2000. I'll tell you the story of how that came to be...

All the best to you,

- Jonelle